A Rather Adventurous Smoothie Epidemic
by EpicInTheLibrary
Summary: Karma can lead to good things. Kendall/James, prior to Out of Tune


_Okay, so it's not that adventurous. At all. Actually, I couldn't think of anything at all, and it's crazy to say my sister actually came up with the smoothie epidemic. And I hate my sister with a passion. She keeps telling me she's gonna kill me. Whatever, man, if she kills me, at least I won't have to deal with this shit anymore. -dies for cussing-_

_So here we go, an event prior to Out of Tune, basically how the relationship got started. Once again, I hate it, because I was just trying to get it over with and it's wwaaaaaaaayyy too redundant and it's lame. I don't write emotion very well. Only emo emotions, because you kind of need life experience for that lmao. Enjoy the lameness._

* * *

"Wanna get a smoothie?" James asks me, grinning widely with mischief glinting in his eyes. I glance over at the smoothie station, spotting two recognizable faces immediately. Returning the grin, I look back at James and open my mouth.

"Sure."

Logan and Carlos, after managing to knock a huge hole in the wall of Gustavo's studio with a bowling ball, were once again subjected to paying him back by getting jobs. I can see how Carlos could get in trouble for something like that, but I don't understand how Logan got involved. He's usually the last one to jump into these things.

Back to the point, Logan and Carlos, after much pleading and butt-kissing, persuaded Bitters to let them work part-time at the Palm Woods. Meaning they gave him every last bag of microwave popcorn (reserved for _our_ movie nights) they could get their hands on in the apartment. So now they man the smoothie station together from eleven to one- the busiest time of day.

They're over there now, trying to deal with the overflow of 12:00 customers. Logan seems like he would be able to handle it if he had a more efficient partner. Carlos is just plain freaking out. James and I happily take place at the back of the line.

"I'll buy," James stops me as I pull a five from my back pocket. I roll my eyes.

"Dude, I'm not a chick; I can pay for myself." He frowns but shrugs.

"Alright; whatever floats your boat."

"Who even says that anymore?" He holds up his hands as if in surrender and shrugs with raised eyebrows. Whatever. James is retarded. Let's leave it at that.

It doesn't take a _super_ long time to get to the front of the line, but it's not exactly a short wait, either. It also kind of sucks that we're the very last ones. Either way, when we finally get up to the station, Logan is oh so _very_ happy to see us. I swear, his eye twitches in joy.

"Two, please," James says in a chipper voice, holding up two fingers and smiling sweetly. Logan looks like he wants to kill us in his euphoria.

"_Seriously?_" he close to shrieks. When James and I simultaneously nod he groans animatedly and swings around to face Carlos, who's working the machine. "We need two."

"Got it!" he calls back, offering a thumbs up over his shoulder. He sounds a little hysteric, and the way he whacks the side of the machine desperately and yells at it to stop mocking him with its complicated controls and making fart noises every time he turns it on only adds to that. Poor kid doesn't have much luck with machines.

Logan tenses up at Carlos' outburst, shoulders rigid, and turns to us, slowly. We're still smiling, and I give him a thumbs up. He slowly, slowly breaks into a grin, and I swear the devil's possessed him. Keeping his teeth clenched, he gets out, "Why don't you two go wait at a table, and we'll get back to you with that order."

"Oh- is that bad customer service I hear?" I say loudly, putting a hand to my ear. Logan gives me a look that makes me glad there's a counter between us right now.

"No," he grinds out. "You're the lucky one hundred fifty and one hundred fifty-first customers; you get a waiter to take the smoothies out to you. Now go _sit_ before your luck runs out." I turn to James, shrugging, and return.

"Alright then. Here's your money." I slap my five on the counter, James following it up with a five of his own. Logan looks like he would rather die than give us change. He grudgingly takes the money and opens the cash register.

"So how's the job, Logie?" James speaks up as Logan rifles through the money. "Is it fun? Looks like you're doing well."

"Carlos seems like he's handling it well," I throw in, gesturing to Carlos, who's repeatedly banging on the top of the smoothie machine.

"You guys are assholes," Logan mutters, pulling a bunch of ones and quarters out. "Here's your change, _have a Palm Woods day._"

I grin at James as I accept the money and leave. He was right, that was fun.

"Nice," I comment once we're out of earshot, slapping him a high five. He flashes his teeth back at me and we quickly find a table with two chairs. "Don't you feel kinda bad, though?"

"For Carlos, yeah," he answers smoothly as he relaxed back into his seat. "But only a little. I really find the whole thing hilarious." I frown.

"But they're our friends."

"That's what makes it so funny." I grin, shaking my head. There's no getting past James. If he's got something in his head, it's in there, and there's no getting rid of it. I guess that's why he was always so set on becoming famous. Or still is. He is one determined guy. I like that about him.

I don't realize I'm spaced until I notice James staring at me. Like, intensely. I draw back and lean back into my chair, and he blinks at the movement, eyes flicking up to mine.

"Hey." I grin and wave, and he returns the smile. I glance around at the station again, seeing Logan turned around helping Carlos with the smoothie machine. Turning back to James, I jerk my thumb back at them, saying, "They seem to be having fun with that."

"'S taking a long time, though," he comments. "Think we should report this to Bitters?"

"Nah. They're having a hard enough time," I wave off. "Carlos dealing with the machine... Logan dealing with Carlos..."

"I guess so," he allows. "They better hurry up, though, or I will."

"Okay," I laugh. "If you do, I'll be your moral support." He grins and glances past me.

"Guess not; here they come." He gestures to behind me and I turn to see them approaching, each holding a pink fruit smoothie. I wave and Logan smiles sweetly back, striding up and setting his down in front of me.

"Your completely normal fruity beverages, sirs," Carlos says over-politely as he gives James his smoothie. How suspicious. James and I exchange glances before shrugging and turning to smile back at them.

"Thank you," I accept, taking the cup.

"Enjoy!" Logan sings obnoxiously over his shoulder as they leave.

"We will!" James calls back. They're practically sprinting back to the station. I turn back to James, shrugging again.

"Cheers," I say, hitting my cup against his. I pull it back and put it to my lips, tilting back to take a sip.

Only to have it explode in my face.

It happens so fast I can barely process it. One second I'm getting a drink of smoothie, the next my face is numbing with sudden cold and the sound of wet explosion is ringing in my ears along with loud, hysteric laughter. I squint through the pink berry goodness all over my face to see James pointing and laughing. He slams his cup on the table and _bam, _his half of the order is all over both of us, the bits that were launched into the air raining down on us. James isn't laughing anymore, having gotten the worst of his explosion.

Slowly I stand and turn to face the smoothie station, wiping smoothie from my eyes. Logan and Carlos are in hysterics, Logan holding himself up on Carlos' shoulders. They slap a high five and wave over at James and I. I raise my arms in a "what the hell" gesture, and that just makes them laugh harder, Logan actually collapsing as Carlos claps his hands together.

Rolling my eyes, I pivot and maneuver around the table, pulling James up and striding off towards the bathroom, towing him after me. A bunch of people give us looks that range from weird to amused, and I see Katie laughing with a video camera over there. When we get into the bathroom I'm lucky to say there's no one else there. Just an empty, dirty room that falls silent as the door swings shut behind us. I hold my hands up, then clench my fingers and drop them again, whirling on James.

"That was fun."

"Fun?" Ooh, James is freaking out. He looks really serious about this. "The smoothie is _all_ over my _hair,_ and my _face,_ and it's all sticky, and god, Kendall, how is this _fun?_"

"Chill, chill." I hold up my hands in surrender. "Let's just get cleaned up and worry about what we're gonna do to Carlos and Logan later." He scowls and I roll my eyes, giving him a "you got a better idea?" look before raising my hand to my mouth and starting to lick the pink sticky substance off. This does not sit well with James.

"Woah woah woah, _what_ are you doing?" I look up at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Dude. I paid two fifty for this. I'm gonna eat it." I resume my cleaning. James looks more than uncomfortable as he watches me.

"Uh... No offense to your little money morals or whatever, but that thing _exploded._ I don't think you should be eating it." Money morals? No.

"Well then you don't have to eat it. Here." I reach over and grab a bunch of paper towels, shoving them at James' chest. "You can throw a whole two fifty away, fine by me."

He looks disconcerted, clutching the paper towels in his fingers. "You're not even slightly concerned that it could be radioactive?"

"Nope." I drag my tongue across my right forearm. "Tastes fine to me." He looks incredibly uneasy and forces himself to turn away to start cleaning himself off, starting by pulling the paper towels down his face. I just shrug and continue what I'm doing, slowly lapping the mess from my other forearm, starting at my wrist. James keeps glancing over at me, which I choose to ignore, because I don't care, how is my method of cleaning going to affect him?

Well, apparently a lot, because now he's openly staring. Unable to just let it go any longer, I raise my eyebrows and turn to him, taking my fingers from my mouth, about to say something when he promptly cuts off my chances of doing so.

He kisses me.

It's so unexpected, so unbelievably out of the blue, so startling, and so... right. Good. Wait- what? His fingers grip my hair, tangling in a mess of sticky pink and digits and blond, and his body is so close to mine. My mouth is still open from what I was going to say, probably in shock, and he deems this the correct opportunity to go ahead and stick his tongue inside. It's only for a second, allowing him just enough time to press on my tongue, licking against it before he releases a breath into my mouth and draws back, leaving just as quickly as he came. He disconnects himself from me and proceeds to go back to cleaning his arms off with the paper towels.

Needless to say, I'm in a state of shock. I've completely stopped everything, just staring at him, open-mouthed. And he's just cleaning himself off like nothing even happened. Eventually he glances over without turning his head, regarding me out of the corner of his eye with raised eyebrows.

"Hmm?"

I wet my lips and swallow somewhat anxiously. "What was that?"

"What?" His gaze returns to his reflection. I'm incredulous.

"'What?' You sticking your tongue down my throat, that's what!"

"Hey, I did _not-_"

"_James._" I'm still watching him, arms crossed. He just shrugs nonchalantly, avoiding my gaze.

"Just felt like it."

"You _felt_ like it?" I repeat disbelievingly. He rolls his eyes and huffs, shoving the paper towels down onto the counter again as he spins to face me.

"Okay, Kendall- So you keep being all attractive lately and I can't get you out of my head and every time I look at you I just want to jump you and make out with you or something and it's confusing as hell and it sucks and I just needed to know what it felt like before my head exploded or something and that's what, okay?" He bites his lip and falls silent, just staring at me with a dark gaze. I'm completely speechless. Oh man. Oh god oh man oh shit oh fuck-

"I have a girlfriend," I blurt without meaning to. He rolls his eyes.

"I _know_ that."

Sighing impatiently at myself, I start up again, "So... are you like... gay?" He averts his gaze.

"I don't know."

"Well..." I scratch at the back of my neck uncomfortably, wishing the air weren't so thick or the atmosphere so awkward. "I mean, I'm a guy. You kissed me. What did you... think of it?"

"...I don't know," he mumbles, eyes still downcast, looking about as uncomfortable as I feel. "You didn't really kiss back."

My heart leaps into my throat, expelling the words, "Well you wanna try again?" He finally glances up at me, wide-eyed, and that was so unexpected, for both of us, that I almost fall over. What... I can't believe I just said that. But... I think I meant it.

"R-really?" James chokes out, half laughing.

"Well... yeah." I glance away for a second, returning to focus on his eyes. "If it's gonna help you figure stuff out, then I want to."

He's stopped laughing and now looks kind of nervous. His teeth are still gripping his lower lip, and his eyes are wide, conveying something close to disbelief. "Seriously? Like... That's pretty gay."

"Yeah, that's the point, genius. Now hurry up so we can get this over with." He doesn't move, all previous courage evidently drained from him, and I sigh, rolling my eyes before stepping forward and taking his face in my hands, leaning in and connecting our lips.

He kind of stills for a split second, staring into my eyes with his bright chocolate ones before letting them slip closed as he begins to return the kiss, and I do the same. He releases a pent up exhalation into my mouth, hesitantly licking at my lips. I part them, snaking my own tongue out to meet his.

This is insane. It feels so unreal, so dreamlike. Is it supposed to feel this good to be kissing another guy? Or is this just what kissing always feels like? I'd like to go with the latter, but goddamn, James is a really good kisser. His fingers are slipping into my hair, sticking a little due to the smoothie, and his other hand joins with my waist. He begins to press closer, and all I can think is yes, yes, _yes-_

Gasping slightly, I break away, pulling myself out of his grasp and in return recalling my hands. He takes a step back and I fix my gaze on the ceiling, tilting my head back and moving to lean back against the sink counter, palms supporting me.

"So..." I take a breath and force myself to look at him. "How was that?"

"Ah..." He scratches at his nose and flits his gaze across various spots in the room, none of them within the vicinity of me. There seems to be a lot of avoiding of eye contact today. "It... Good. It was good."

"Good?" I raise an eyebrow, looking for clarification. He meets my stare.

"Great. Fantastic. I... Kendall, I think I might be gay." He looks almost worried, and I attempt to calm him down.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with being gay," I try, ignoring the fact that no, I'm not being very reassuring. "It's a way of life. It's natural."

"I know," he says quietly. "The thing is- I think I like you."

"Oh." Yeah, that might cause some problems. The thing for me, though, is that I have a girlfriend, and the fact that his feelings are pretty much mutual between us is something I don't really think I should be dealing with. God, what's happening? "Like..."

"Well- not like you and Jo. More kind of like... I think you're- kinda hot."

"'Kinda?'" I can't resist. He rolls his eyes.

"Okay, yeah, a lot. Like... ugh. Look, why don't we just forget about all of this? I mean, thanks for helping me and all, but I think we're done now. I can go find some other hot guy. Like... Dak Zevon or something." I raise my eyebrows, grinning slightly, and he rolls his eyes again, making hand gestures as he speaks, a sign of flustered weakness. "Or some other hot guy. I don't know, Kendall. Just- are we good?"

"No." He looks confused, eyebrows furrowing, so I explain. "James, I- you- I mean. I... Look, it's great that you 'like' me and all, but- I just think- well- uh." Well, this'll never work. To sum it all up, I close the distance between us for yet another kiss. He seems shocked but I don't let that stop me, pulling him in further. He finally responds, and I let it go on for a bit more before breaking it off. "I think I like you too."

He grins. "Who doesn't?" I roll my eyes and shut him up with another kiss, closing my eyes and savoring it. I don't know how long this will last, or if it even will, but let's just say I hope it does for a long time.

* * *

_BUT LOGAN, THEIR LUCK CAN'T RUN OUT BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE GOOD LUCK CHARMS LMAO -shot-_

_I'm sorry, but that new episode last night was amazing. I'm suck a dork. Also I don't know how to spell names so please excuse me fff. Also that ending is lame because I was running out of space on the paper and I didn't want to waste a whole other one just for like three lines so I squished soemthing lame on the end. Like a bug, haha._

_NOW I GET TO WRITE A SEQUEL TO MY FRIEND'S RAPE AHAHAHA But seriously, I must be a masochist because I LOVE that story. I don't even know, you guys. Go read it. Beware of rapes and nasties ahead. 8D_

_http:/www . fanfiction . net/s/6058939/1/Of_All_The_Sick_Things_People_Do (No spaces lol)_


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